JAMMER5'S POLYRANT

Rants My Way

No Time Left for Donny

Sam never really climbs out of a car, he sort of slithers, if you know what I mean. Sam, you see, is a snake of the first order. He has absolutely no moral standards whatsoever. If he wants you gone, you are gone. Total erasure…you never were.

I’ve worked for Sam for some years now, fifteen, maybe twenty; who knows? He hired me out of college after I got kicked out for pounding on one of the professors for messing up a couple of girls I knew outside a strip club. He said he liked the way I handled myself. Said he watched the whole thing go down, and thought the way I broke the guys face up was real professional, and he could use a guy like me.

I started out doing some collecting for him, and worked my way up to being his personal bodyguard. He insisted I learn martial arts, and when Sam insists on something, you did it. I took six straight years of Aikido. You’ve seen movies with Steven Seagal and how he uses the other guys moves to beat the shit out of him? That’s basically what I know. Little strength involved, very fast and very effective. What it means is I can take on more than one guy, and still protect my boss. I’m very good at it.

I’ve always been loyal to Sam, even though I know he ain’t got no scruples. He pays me well, I even got medical, dental, and a vacation every year. Matter of fact, I was getting ready to fly down to Florida to see this lady friend of mine today. So I got nothing to complain about.

But a serious problem jumped up, and it don’t look good for me. It started when Freddy, the Bull, came by to see me. Freddy got the name “Bull” because of how he was hung like, well, you know, like a bull.

Now Bull has always been a stand up guy, know what I mean? If Bull told you something, it had either happened, or was probably going to happen. You could bank on that. Freddy’s word was gold. Bull’s only problem was that sometimes his brain didn’t think things all the way through.

Anyway, Bull came over to my place, which in itself was unusual, as people usually went to his. I hear the doorbell ring, I answer the door, and there’s Bull, big as life, standing there with a shit eatin’ grin on his face.

“Freddy”, I said…nobody, but nobody, called him Bull to his face. Why? He told one guy he was sensitive that way . . . right before he popped him in the back of the head. “What brings you down to my neighborhood? You know all you gotta do is call, and I’ll be there on the square.” Sam and Freddy were sort of rivals. Not really a territorial thing, but just the same. I had no problem with Freddy, and my boss even let me do a few things for him, if just to keep a ear to the ground.

“Donny!” That’s what they call me…Donny…I hate the name. “Donny, I got some good and bad news for you. The bad news is three of my boys are on their way over to Sams’ right now, and what I’m thinking is that when they get back, you will be out of a job.”

“Oh, man”, I said, “You don’t know what you just done. Your guys ain’t coming back. Why you doing this? Sam’s always been good to you. You got good territory, what do you need with this mess?”

Bull just smiled and said, “Sam knows my guys are coming. Said he’s sittin’ there scared shitless, and I told him I already bought you. So the good news is that I’m going to be your new boss. I could use you. Same setup, different boss…what do you care?”

I cared enough that I hit him in the throat with two stiff fingers. He pretty much went down like a dropped rock. I pulled him into the house and closed the door, watching him try to breathe, which, for him, was not going to happen: I’d crushed his windpipe.

It took him all of five minutes to die. I just left him on the floor, and went to sit down on the couch to wait. Why just wait, you asked? Good question. I shouldn’t have killed him. Sam would have wanted to take care of him, and I ruined his fun. Plus remember when I said Bull’s word was as good as gold? You can bet Sam believed him when Freddy told him I had been bought. And Sam forget about it? Sam don’t forget. With my boss, there ain’t no mistakes allowed.

So now, I sit and wait. You see, Bull’s boys will not get to Sam, but Sam will get to me. I’ve known from working for Sam, that even with my talents, I wouldn’t stand a chance. Oh, I’ll take some of his guys out, but I know who’ll he’ll bring along, and I’ll lose in the end. That’s just the way my world works.

If I run, he’ll find me. I’ve had a good life. Probably be heading down, but you get what you give. Or so I’ve been told.

Pretty soon a car will drive up. The car door will open, and Sam will slither out. I expect that around five minutes after that, I will cease to exist. Sam will try to erase me, so you keep this and remember me. I’ve also been told it’s nice to be remembered.

September 2, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

18 Comments »

  1. Then again you could show him the body of the Bull. Maybe he would believe you.

    gotta love a mobster that provides medical and dental given the risks of the job.

    Comment by Bearman | September 2, 2010 | Reply

    • I ain’t showing him anything. I’ll leave that to Donny :-)

      I wonder if he had a 401K?

      Comment by jammer5 | September 2, 2010 | Reply

      • I was saying “you” as if I was talking to Donny.

        Comment by bearman | September 2, 2010

      • Donny’s dead, dude :-) Took his 401K with him.

        Comment by jammer5 | September 2, 2010

  2. That was very entertaining. One wanted to keep reading because it was exciting and you knew something bad was going to happen,

    Comment by Lisa | September 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, Lisa. It’s an exercise in flash fiction, a genre that tries to tell a story in 1000 words or less. At least that’s how I understand it.

      Ernest Hemingway wrote what is considered the optimum flash: “For Sale, Baby Shoes, Never Worn.”

      Comment by jammer5 | September 2, 2010 | Reply

      • Nice, Jammer!

        I’d definitely say you succeeded.

        In fact, it was so good that it took me a couple of paragraphs to figure out it was fiction. For a minute there I thought you were a total badass…;)

        Comment by bschooled | September 3, 2010

      • It’s a really fun genre. And me? A badass? Love it :-)

        Comment by jammer5 | September 3, 2010

  3. You write pulp better than Tarentino Jammer. I always wanted to learn that aikido as well. Making somebody beat the shit out of themselves with their own moves is… priceless.

    I have a feeling that Sam is going to have Donny fed to the lions at the Tampa zoo. Call it a hunch.

    Comment by Scott Oglesby | September 3, 2010 | Reply

    • If you run into the Quintin, tell him they’re for sale :-)

      I was kinda thinking pigs (Ever see Snatch?). Right up Sam’s alley. Tiger’s will do nicely, though.

      Comment by jammer5 | September 3, 2010 | Reply

  4. Hmm, but what would Chuck do? You might want to call him :)

    Comment by frigginloon | September 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Fuck Chuck. He turned into a major moron. Donny would kick his ass.

      Comment by jammer5 | September 3, 2010 | Reply

  5. Excellent story.

    So Bull’s integrity was only compromised at the end. This, I suppose, is the only thing that leaves me wondering that if Bull had a reputation for being a stand up guy, why would he lie about Donny to Sam? The other question, of course, is how did Sam survive? The implication is that Sam is extremely dangerous. If he’s so dangerous, then why not kill him? If he’s going to pull up and slither out of the seat in front of the house, why not just take him out? But, of course, it’s a story, and the intimidation factor needs to be there. If the author says Sam’s awesome and cannot be defeated, then those are the rules, and the other characters just have to deal with it.

    Nice work. I enjoyed it.

    Comment by writerdood | September 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Donny did say Bull sometimes didn’t think things all the way through, which included him telling Sam about Donny. But Bull did call Sam and told him what was going down.

      Donny did say he knew who Sam was bringing, and that was the intimidation factor, or so I meant it that way. Sam wasn’t going to lead the charge: he pays others to do that, or so it’s expected. I did struggle with that part a bit. Limited words in flash fiction. Good catch. Glad you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it.

      Comment by jammer5 | September 3, 2010 | Reply

  6. oi so did you ever make the sausage rolls?

    Comment by Susi Spice | September 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Yep. Awesome thanks :-)

      Comment by jammer5 | September 3, 2010 | Reply

      • wasnt sure if i told u that we eat them dipped in a bit of ketchup or some ppl go for bbq sauce :)

        Comment by Susi Spice | September 4, 2010

      • You know, I was thinking an Au jus of some kind would have been perfect. But as it was, I have zero problem. Great sammich. Thanks:-)

        Comment by jammer5 | September 4, 2010


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